New directors, My Oscars and the irresistable force

As my friend, and emerging artist, Jenni Sussman would say, “Rob, turn it down.” Please take a look at some of her work: http://Jennifersussman.blogspot.com



Hello readers. Last week I was forced to post a blog named “UPDATED: CBR-STR Rankings” in efforts to exorcise some "demons" and bring to light some actual lunatics living by our sides day-to-day. It backfired pretty resoundingly. Now, for approximately five days I have dealt with these cretans posting comments of movie plots with me cast as the main character in them all over my beloved Facebook page. Real cool. Since I see there is no end to this, I have chosen a few of my favorites from this pack of dullards petty offerings and, have posted them below. I have also created a poll (located at the very bottom of this page) which will humiliate them and serve as my own personal “Oscars” -for revenge. The winning point getter will earn themself ten (10) very real CBR points that they will have to deal with on the next Rankings update.

Here are the finalists:

Kevin Ace Demaria with, Madonna’s Blonde Ambition World Tour!!!

“ From the rain of Japan through threats of arrest for public indecency in Canada, this documentary follows John St. Onge on his 1990 'Blond Ambition' concert tour. Filmed in black and white, with the concert pieces in glittering MTV color, it is an intimate look at the work of the music performer, from a prayer circle with the dancers before each performance to bed games with the dance troupe afterwards. Though much of the film is a paean to self-love and self-aggrandizement, we are permitted to see St. Onge at his worst as well as his best. Just when the audience is on the verge of giving up the flamboyant bassist as a bad job, he displays a sudden attack of sensitivity, such as his protective attitude towards a timid homosexual in his troupe. Among the many celebrities who poke their heads into the proceedings are Warren Beatty and Matt Silberstein, who makes the fatal error of coming backstage to tell St. Onge that he thinks he's "neat."

Hollywood G-Man with, Vision Quest!

“I was in the room here one day... watchin' the Mexican channel on TV. I don't know nothin' about John St. Onge. I'm watchin' what this guy can do with a ball and his feet. Next thing I know, he jumps in the air and flips into a somersault and kicks the ball in - upside down and backwards... the goddamn goalie never knew what the fuck hit him. John St.Onge gets excited and rips off his jersey and starts running around the stadium waving it around his head. Everybody’s screaming in Spanish. I'm here, sitting alone in my room, and I start crying. That's right, I start crying. Because another human being, a species that I happen to belong to, could kick a ball, and lift himself, and the rest of us sad-assed human beings, up to a better place to be, if only for a minute... let me tell ya, kid - it was pretty goddamned glorious. It ain't the six minutes... it's what happens in that six minutes."

Rich Tardy with, What About Bob? (Votes will have to be cast under the "Roadhouse" tab because I realized that the response for What About Bob? was unfortunately electrifying. Can't change the poll now) !!

"When Dr. Leo Marvin, a New York psychiatrist with a huge ego, goes on vacation to Lake Winnipesaukee, New Hampshire, he leaves his new patient, john st onge, on his own with a copy of his new and well-publicized book Baby Steps. john has a good work ethic and treats people well, but suffers from multiple phobias and is divorced from his first wife because they could not agree on being fans of Neil Diamond. Dr. Carswell Fensterwald, john's former psychiatrist, refers john to Dr. Marvin. Although in a conversaton with Dr. Marvin he says he is taking a hiatus from medicine, in actuality Dr. Fensterwald is driven to the brink of a nervous breakdown from treating john."

Joseph Mancuso with Gleaming The Cube!

“John St. Onge is a slacker at heart. The only thing he really cares about is skateboarding; trivial things like doing his homework and making the grade in school have little meaning to him. But when his adopted Vietnamese brother turns up dead after discovering an error in the shipping records at his place of work, St. Onge begins to suspect something more. Refusing to accept the police's theory of suicide, St. Onge launches his own investigation, determined to uncover the truth of what really happened to his brother.”

Christopher Deprey with, Weekend At Bernies!!!

“Two young men are trying to make their way in a corporation. One on charm, the other on hard work. When they go to the president (John St.Onge) with a serious financial error on a printout, he pretends to be thrilled and invites them to his beach house for the weekend. He actually plans on having them killed. St.Onge is also fooling around with the girlfriend of his mafia partner. When the partner has St.Onge killed, the boys end up having to pretend St.Onge is still alive as the frustrated hit man tries time and time again to complete the job."

Demetrios Kanavaros with, Milk!

“Upon moving to San Francisco from New York City in 1972, forty year old John St. Onge gains focus in his life as a gay activist in the city's Castro district. Gay rights activism turns to political activism as St. Onge decides he can be a more effective voice for the gay community as a politician, elected or not. Through several elections and losses both for a city seat and a state assembly seat, St. Onge becomes the first openly gay man in the United States to be elected to political office when he wins a San Francisco supervisor seat in 1977. His many political battlefronts include one with the national anti-gay Save the Children crusade, led and fronted by singer Matt Silbersteing. Closer to home, St. Onge has a continuing struggle with his fellow supervisor, Rich Tardy, a staunch social conservative."


Readers, I just don’t need this shit. This is what drives a normal, sane person to madness. Real life lunatics with nothing better to do with their time than come up with this horseshit…Well, anyway. “Recruit” (Ammo, my dog) is making her way up the leader board on the CBR-STR…Because, four times tonight, including the time I just came downstairs to write this, I hear the scurrying feet, fleeing back to the kitchen from the couch...broken protocol again. She has also pissed on the kitchen floor two times because it’s too cold for her to go outside I guess, and she doesn’t also doesn't “prefer” to go outside. It’s like the movie “300”. I am a skilled warrior but alas, I am fighting an irresistible force.

Polls are open and is at the bottom of this page. May the most clever dullard win!

~ZFJ