Hollywood, life lessons and the “knot” in my shoulder

Take a look at some work from an up and coming actor, Joseph Mancuso. He's a good friend and he's also a real chop buster: http://www.youtube.com/user/josephmancusoactor

So, my shoulder’s been acting up. Not in the sense that YOUR shoulder may act up mind you. See, my left shoulder did have a knot in it but MY left shoulder also starred in a major motion picture movie scene with our pal, Mel Gibson –or “Mel” as I call him. It’s a long story but one you should know. Myself and some friends were cast as extras in a scene with Mel himself a couple years ago at Tully’s in Northampton for his movie, Edge Of Darkness. This was an exciting day and was quite an experience, there was one problem though. My shoulder was sitting right next to Mel himself and the director was instantly taken with him (my shoulder). I mean he does hang a nice shirt off himself, if I do say so myself and is about a charismatic as they come but still…So, my shoulder ended up getting all the screen time and hung out with Mel all day instead of myself. This led to my shoulder getting work in European films, commercials and music videos which really launched his acting career. Before I continue, I must tell you that he goes by the stage name of “Alex Blaze” and I know he reads this blog and I’m sure will come up in conversation…So, I would appreciate you humoring him or else I get to wake up with a sweet knot in my shoulder.

Anyway, people started talking about his performance in Edge Of Darkness and next thing I know it’s all parties, out till 5:00 every morning…work suffering, not eating, fast women –for my shoulder anyway, I basically drove. It was cool at first but I soon realized that he only cares about himself and livin’ the Rawk –n- Roll lifestyle as he refers to it. Anyway, his fame didn’t last long because his scene with Mel didn't make it into the movie combined with the fact that people realized he is very limited in his acting and screen presence. Recently, he has done some random, low paying work but mostly has just gotten bitter as of late. Basically acts like he can tell the right arm what to do –I think that’s actually true at times-he twists up when he’s in a bad mood and generally is a narcissistic ass. Alex is just getting to be a problem… shit. I was “going to sleep” two nights ago and that asshole tried to join in!!! Ahem, you know what I meant, me going to sleep …like resting…that’s what I meant…anyway, any advice on how to deal with this is appreciated.

Now readers, you know that good ole ZFJ likes to curl up with a good movie from time to time and, I got a chance to do so this weekend. And, as my “friend” Christopher “M”. Deprey would say: “…it’s the weekend, we all know you have nothing better to do.” Wrong Chris. I derived pleasure from watching a movie that really struck a chord in me. A movie that made me want to strive to be my best. That made me excited, made me cry and, even made me laugh. A “complete” movie named, The Marine. Featuring John Cena.

The plot is simple but extremely intricate: Cena (aka, John Triton) is a Marine that has been discharged dishonorably- all he wants to be is a Marine and therefore has trouble adjusting back home in regular life. He and his wife seem to have a great relationship. They talk about how all he wants to do is be a Marine. Some bad guys take his wife hostage randomly and then he chases them down, killing or whipping their asses and he ends up rescuing his wife.

ACT 1: Cena and the wife get the movie started with a “bang” (heh heh). Cena has his shirt off. He gets a job as a security guard. Then, there’s scene where the slick talkin’, joke crackin’, trigger happy diamond thieves steal a ton of diamonds and beat up/shoot a couple employees –one of whom was in on the job with them!!! Cold Blooded!! Then the main bad guy gives a longwinded, extra slick speech to the employees and customers on the floor and then they take off, shooting cops and blowing up cars in the process. Now, back to Cena. He’s at his first day on the job as a security guard. He meets what appears to be a new best friend while on their first work shift together. Eventually they get into a spirited brawl with a two-bit-would-be trouble maker named “The Drake”. They end up putting him and his cronies through a fucking window! Yeah!! He gets fired. They go to the bar. His best friend (the security guard he just met) gives him deep insightful advice on life and what he should do. It hits home with Cena and also gives him an opportunity to tell his new friend of his prowess in hand to hand combat, military tactics, demolitions and how all he wants to do is be a Marine. His friend looks at a the waitress’ ass as she walks by. They smile. Cena’s “best friend” drops him off at home with an endearing fist pump and reassuring parting words. This pivotal character is never seen again in the entire movie. Cena and his wife decide to take off on a romantic get away. While stopping to fuel the SUV they encounter the bad guys who are fleeing from the heist and are also getting petrol. (I have to say, again, how slapstick funny these bad guys are through the whole film while comfortable music plays in the background during their banter, simply brilliant!) Then, a cop pulls up to get fuel and the shit hits the fan. The Villians shoot one cop and the other one too –but he lives. Cena ends up diving out of an exploding gas station. His wife is taken hostage. At this point, I am edge of seat material.

ACT II: Cena jumps in the abandoned cop car and gives chase. During the nasty high speed chase, the car ends up taking hundreds of rounds of bullets and still drives perfectly. Nasty. Eventually the car flips off a cliff with the bad guys riddling it with still more bullets until it explodes. Cena leaps from the exploding car into the water below. Bad guys think he’s dead. I didn’t…they trek through the swamp to avoid cops and hide. Cena gives chase. Meets a cop (new character), the cop seems to know him for some reason, not supported by any dialogue at any point of the movie, and tells him to give up, at first. But Cena retorts. The cop seems to instantly trust him and lets him go. I would too. Cena gets snagged in a trap owned by some drug runners. They take him to their shack. The end result is: both of the drug runners get their asses get whipped. The shack catches on fire and Cena escapes the exploding building by running out of it. Cena drives up to an abandoned restaurant (it’s normal to have a restaurant located somewhere in a swamp?) and catches up with the bad guys. There is no sign of water close to this location from what the viewer can see. He whips two of the henchmen’s asses then goes to confront to two main villains. He does so. Suddenly the cop who we just heard about reappears!!! In yet another plot twist, we find out that the cop is in on the heist too! YES. New cop gets shot by main villain. The restaurant gets set on fire. Cena escapes the exploding building by flying out of the inferno and diving into –the water??? Cena catches up with the main villain who has his wife hostage in the cab of an 18 wheeler that he recently commandeered. Cena runs and jumps on the moving vehicle. Throws out the other main villain (the girl) and tries to open the locked door. The villain runs the truck through two small buildings with Cena clutching the door handle on the side of the truck. Cena is still holding on to the truck –unscathed. He does fall off the truck soon and groggily looks up as it slams into a stack of containers that explode. The truck is now ablaze and the bad guy jumps out. The truck hits four, count em’, four more piles of exploding containers as Cena chases it. The truck nose-dives into to the water in the back of the building and then, the building begins to explode. The main villain tries to kill Cena with: punches, kicks, metal pipes, a sledge hammer and a chainsaw. Nope! Cena whips HIS ass and leaps from the exploding building into the water. He gets to the submerged truck and breaks a metal bar that his wife is handcuffed to, with his hands. Gives her CPR...Love scene-Interrupted!!!- The villian takes one more shot at Cena with a chain around his neck but the attempt is reversed with ease by Cena and The villian is anti-climactically dispensed with!

THE END

So don’t tell me I’ve done nothing this weekend because, I learned to try against all odds. I learned to never give in. I learned to hit the gym way more. I learned that it is good to jump into water when escaping a burning/exploding car or building. I learned about betrayal, unconditional love and various ways that buildings get set on fire. While my friends choose to watch movies with excessive talking that goes nowhere and plots that nobody can follow, I got all these realizations through a din of explosions, guns, death, ass whippings…and, I’m a better person for it. Thanks John.

~ZFJ