If you diss ZFJ, you diss yourself.

Had a power meeting with my administrative team last night about some key topics such as music, blog content and mostly, where the hell is Billdo??? After him ranking rather high on the Top Ten CBR-STR Rankings we thought he would be more active in his paltry attempts at humiliating me. One trusted insider has reported that he’s “saving up” for some real big time chop busting in the near future. I really worried…”oh no”. Thing is, Billdo, as a trash-talking-athlete is as good as it gets. He’s not usually too clever with his efforts but is very mean and effective in most cases. For example: “One time at rehearsal I dubbed myself as ‘Sugarfoot’. Bill slurred out “More like Saltfoot” from behind the drum set. Just one example of his “brilliant” shit talking abilities. Still, some of his insults and physical attacks have left me scarred for life (reference Double leg dropkick in “UPDATED: CBR-STR Rankings post). As a result, I’ve been training for at least two years to defeat him in the only thing he really cares about: Madden Football.

…and, I hope he remembers that I am a natural athlete. I’ve been playing Madden on my iphone (which is probably more difficult than Xbox or Playstation, in case you people don’t realize this) in training for the moment where I can take it all away from him. When I can leave him with mental and spritual scars like he has done to me. I know I am ready after what I accomplished the other day.

Using the Green Bay Packers in “season” mode, I played against the vaunted Minnesota Vikings Football club on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field (it was actually snowing in the game!!). The final score was Green Bay – 116 and Minnesota - 38. Go ahead, read that again. That’s right Bill, 116-38. Comin’ your way buddy. The game started neck and neck with Minnesota scoring first on 3 straight Brett Favre completions followed by a 40 yard TD run by Adrian Peterson. Peterson did not enjoy the rest of the match as he finished the game with a total of 52 yards rushing due to my overpowering defense. Minnesota’s run defense did a fair job of containing Ryan Grant and the running game and, heading into the second quarter the score was so close that I was actually sweating: 21-14 in favor of Green Bay. At this point my back was to the wall and I applied my exemplary coaching and game management skills –which Billdo unfortunately will soon find out about- and unleashed Aaron Rodgers upon the Vikings. The scales quickly tipped in my favor as Rodgers could not be stopped. His skill level when under the guidance of an electrifying play caller seems to be a deadly combination and he finished the game with a passer rating of 143.8. Passing for 1,164 yards, 13 TD’s against 4 INT’s and completed 50 of 68 pass attempts. Unreal. In the process my defensive play calling impressed even myself holding the hapless Vikes to a 6% 3rd down conversion rate and a 0% 4th down conversion rate. My Redzone TD average was 87%.

Readers, I know you’re asking yourself “why the fuck did this zero fun John just write this shit?” and/or “Why the fuck did I just read this shit??”. Sometimes…some certain people eventually are going to have to pay for their previous insolence. So, why did you read this? Why was it written?? Why does good ole' ZFJ take up valuable blog space with this outpouring??? Your answer is this: I have just publically challenged Billdo to a match of Madden 11’. Bill, it’s time to pay.

Note: Readers, I apologize that you will never reclaim the few minutes you’ve just spent reading this post. Sometimes life just isn’t fair.

~ZFJ
“The Natural Athlete”