Monday, May 23, 2011

U and UR motivational speeches

Ok. Well readers, it's nice that we're all still around to live our lives on this wonderful Monday morning. Unfortunately the lack of The Rapture coming puts a damper on my plans for starting a new religion to dominate the world with, but I'm sure I'll have another chance in the near future.

Anyway. The topic today is vital and of high importance. It is about motivational speeches, of any length --especially the ones found on people's Facebook status updates. I am very much in favor of motivational speeches because I not only aspire to be a professional motivational speaker, I also motivate people to become motivational speakers. I think that motivating people is really great.

Now, here's the issue. I'm including a post I saw very recently on a friend's Facebook wall, not dissing my friend at all ---well, kind of...I guess, but only for this post. Below is the motivational-speech-status-update.

"Who says u can't have problems & also smile? U don’t have 2 suffer just b.c. u have problems. U don’t have 2b happy 2 smile. U can b in a bad mood & smile, & ur mood will turn around. Just fake it 4 a while & it will become real. No, u’re not being a hypocrite if u pretend 2b something u’re not. In this case u r uplifting urself. Just the act of smiling itself will change ur mood, physically, as well as spiritually."

What. The. Fuck??

Yes it IS very motivating but we can do without the "U", "UR"'s and even "U're"'s. Here's a message to all the would-be motivational speakers of the world, and Facebook Walls: USE REAL GRAMMAR PLEASE.

Consider the impact you could have made with this version:

"Who says you can't have problems and also smile? You don’t have to suffer just because you have problems. You don’t have to be happy to smile. You can be in a bad mood & smile, and your mood will turn around. Just fake it for a while & it will become real. No, you’re not being a hypocrite if you pretend to be something you’re not. In this case you are uplifting yourself. Just the act of smiling itself will change your mood, physically, as well as spiritually."

Sounds like a mature adult/solid motivational speaker wrote that one! So, save the cute little fucking abbreviations for your text messaging and when you plan to motivate people via your Facebook Wall, please stick to somewhat proper grammar if possible. Proper grammar will enhance the "weight" of your message and appeal to a broader range of people looking for motivation. Trust me, I am an expert.

~ZFJ

9 comments:

Lucians said...

You can't explain that:
http://udumans.blogspot.com/

SoffanSays said...

That status would piss me off. However, you’re forgetting a crucial factor in the facebook game, character allowance, to which you are only allowed 420. (hehe) your revised status albeit grammatically gorgeous (for the most part) is 48 characters to long. Which means what we are actually in need of here is creative writing ability.

Sadly, you’d be better served waiting for the “rapture”.

SoffanSays

Zero Fun John said...

Udu,

I wish I could check your link out but it says it doesn't exist. Hook it up!

Soffansays,

My point exactly. If you want to motivate people maybe the FB wall is not the place? whats so funny about the number 420 anyway??

~ZFJ

Anonymous said...

"i'm the fucking president bitch" 420 might make you do that to your business cards... (hehe)

maybe right there lies the next great business idea. make a forum for people to creatively & thoughtfully empower & motivate people in 420 characters or MORE! of course you'll have to find some other easily recognizable numeral, obviously larger than 420 in order for it to stay hip. i fear if there's no cap people will have to read things on facebook like your blog that rambles on & on & on & on, about nothing.

SoffanSays

Zero Fun John said...

ok so, they'll have to have a minimum of 420 characters? Sounds good...this way more people will get conditioned to reading drivel in more lengthy incriments and could actually increase the reader base of this drivel-filled, senseless and generally wasteful blog.

~ZFJ

SoffanSays said...

precisely.

Delia Tacy said...

I am your English teacher sister, and I approve this message!

Zero Fun John said...

Delia,

That will be taken as a compliment by ZFJ. Considering the source!

~ZFJ

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