“Morning” people, how your ipod cares about you and Social Halitosis

I know that many people are “morning” people and my hat is off to you all. I don’t know how you people are really that motivated and alert in the early morning but again, good for you. I’m not in that category. I fight it. I justify and rearrange things and I am going to change this somehow. Problem is I don’t like to go to bed earlier so I usually need to get inventive in the mornings to get moving. Ironically I end up awake in the early morning most days –just not alert.

For times like this (i.e. every morning) your ipod can step in to help. It knows about you and what your needs are. It has the power and gift of music to bestow upon you and again, it cares about you so it knows what you want to hear. For example, my ipod shuffle this morning panned out like this:

Spoon – Don’t Make Me a Target
Interpol – Obstacle 1
Failure – Solaris
Arcade Fire – Modern Man
Autolux – Subzero Fun
Robert Johnson – 32-30 Blues
Arcade Fire – Ready To Start
Kasabian – L.S.F
Europe – Rock The Night
Queens of the Stone Age – First It Giveth
Jane’s Addiction – Just Because
Spoon – The Underdog
Hall and Oates – I Can’t Go For That

Now that’s how you treat someone when you care about them! Thanks ipod, I owe you one!

Now, on to a very controversial and important subject: Halitosis. More accurately, Halitosis in social settings. Readers, I have written about this in the past but I realize it calls for continued awareness and debate so, here goes. Last night myself and some friends/bandmates were going over songs and working on vocals at my lush and hi-tech home studio when one of my friends, who shall remain nameless, emitted a black cloud of vile halitosis which I unfortunately walked through at one point. So, I pointed out to Rich Tardy that his breath was kickin’. I offered chewing gum to Rich Tardy but he said “I don’t chew gum when I’m drinking”. "Cool". So, we got to deal with it all night. Thankfully Rich is so cool that even with halitosis affecting people’s lives around him, he can just blow it off and have people “deal with it”. But what does one do when they’re not as cool as Rich??? Who will step in to save them and their unsuspecting victims??? When will YOU take action next time someone close to you is crushing you with their halitosis???

What I do for people is the caring and noble thing: I tell them they have bad breath and, if I have the means, offer a remedy to their handicap. Some people think this is rude but I think it is very considerate. If you’re out there at the bar, a date, dinner, a show, a movie or even playing in the sack, you really don’t want to be ruining people’s fun and lives with this kind of aggressive stench. For example, a person who’s lighting it up in conversation at the bar with friends has a right to know that their breath is out of line. They also have a civic duty to correct their disease from that point. Sure it may be “tough love” when you have to be the messenger of such bad news, but rather than coddle the offender and make them believe things are okay, you should step up and do the right thing. You think they really want to be spewing this kind of air at other people in conversation??? They don’t. Nobody should take offense or get mad when a concerned friend offers to help them but sometimes they do. Understandably the first reaction is usually vehement denial or self consciousness but they usually concede to getting help after calming down and digesting the news. Handing them a breath mint or slice of chewing gum is a good start to recovery and is akin to missionaries handing food and water to malnourished war victims. You’ll even sleep easier at night as you continue to extend your helping hand.

I urge you socially active and concerned citizens to begin to step up and initiate change when the vile cloud of halitosis rears its ugly head. Take a deep breath and say to your friend, “Hey man/girl/Mom/Dad/Sister/Brother/Boss etc, your breath is kickin’. Would you like some gum?” It won’t be easy at first, but with time and practice you will get used to shouldering the burden of “the messenger” and will earn the fulfillment of not only helping your friends/family but also yourself.

~ZFJ