Look up to the sky...

What a beautiful evening…sitting here on the back porch, crisp, refreshing breeze pushing those wind chimes around. I love that sound. Sure enough I see the buds on the trees as spring makes a comeback. I’m just right here on this chair, on this porch, in this house, on this street, in this town, on this planet…so, I venture to the opening of the porch and step towards the edge. Then I boldly move to the top step…then to the next step…the next and soon I find myself standing in the middle of the lawn. I look up to the sky. This night the sky seemed unsure of what it wanted to do with us all…clouds were moving and were too busy to cover up the stars. Aaaah, there’s that feeling of wonderful insignificance! As if all the problems I could have are just so much smaller than this sky and its stars. I need to look up there more often…like I used to.

So, the other night as I watched a video of a band performing a song that I wrote bass, guitars, lyrics and the basic drum beat for -around 9 years ago, I realized once again the true nature of things. Most people just don’t care that much. Or, they’re just not really that concerned with the “eternal truth of things”. Who cares about what may be “real” or what may be “fake”?? Who cares about doing the “right” thing?? Who in your life would really stand by you at the expense of their own self?? Fuck it. If something can be used to “get you somewhere” then who gives a shit??

Nobody really cares what YOU need.

That’s not a negative statement either. We just want to get “ours” and we’ll do whatever we can think of to get it. I am working towards having this mindset but I’m finding that it is proving difficult for me to nurture it. I’m just not wired that way. I have this flaw that makes me believe in the other person and urges me to be “the difference” and/or the one who will stand by you. Well, that and a quarter will get me a cup of coffee. Whine-whine-whine-whine!!

At the good ole’ day job I had this person I really believed in and trusted teach me a real life lesson. Now, most other people didn’t feel the same about this person because everything didn’t “line up” perfectly as it often doesn’t. I stood by this guy despite what people thought about him because I trusted him and believed him and therefore, was able to get him a job. While working this job, he found another position that suited him better (which I wholeheartedly agreed with) and he made the plans to move on. I had to place someone new in his former position and he was set to train the new person. This guy meets my new employee and he proceeds to recruit the new employee to work at his new company for him. Wow. Anything else I can do for you?? I believe in you, trust you, secure employment for you in a tough recession, stand by you and was always there to help when things got tough. To thank me, you go ahead and steal MY employee for your own needs on the first chance you get. Wow, not even a reach around?? This guy proverbially slapped me in the face reminding me yet again that, nobody really cares what YOU need.

I read this quote a while back and it makes sense to me:

“To get at the eternal truth of things, is in my mind the mission of the man the world would call a poet.”

I’m a Poet.

~ZFJ