Friday, April 1, 2011

Common Sense, the video game.

Soooooooooo, there I am the other day, driving along Pleasant St. in Noho. Going slow enough to navigate the congested streets and to avoid the cars with people driving who aren't looking, are confused and flustered trying to get somewhere after the daily grind, are just assuming the other drivers will stop for them when they pull out into oncoming traffic and cars that are darting in and out of parking lots and streets and just about anywhere a car can operate. Indeed, slow enough to avoid the pedestrians who literally walk straight out into the street via the crosswalks and assume/expect that we will see them in time. I felt like I was in some kind of real life video game, on an "advanced" level.

I'm rolling along, got my little son in the V.I.P. back seat designed for him, he's talking about crackers, cookies, Spongebob and everything else, when I approach the area of Pleasant St. in the vicinity where Yes Computers and the restaurant that myself or anyone else doesn't seem to readily know the name of (it's the one across the street from Yes Computers...anyone??)...when, shit hits the fan.

Or, at least my groceries hit the floor.

I approach. There is an Olive colored van-type thing parked right at the start of the crosswalk line. I see no-one and I also don't have a chance to see beyond that van-type thing. I do see a women in a red coat who instantly appeared in front of my still moving car. I slam on the brakes causing all manner of non-tied down items and/or people in my car to fly forward, and I come to a stop just a foot, maybe a foot and a half from her. As I'm swearing and throwing my arms up in "are you fucking kidding me???" style, I look at her. She is glaring at me with "righteous", victim-esque anger. I say "fuck you bitch" very audibly and I guess she can read lips because she stormed onward, down the all-powerful crosswalk to continue onto her important destination. As I continued on to pick up the pieces of my momentarily shattered life -after I waited for the other pedestrians who had entered the sanctum of this crosswalk mere seconds after my near physical encounter with red-coat lady.

Now, please understand that I am completely in favor of the laws in place to protect pedestrians in Northampton and I too am frequently a pedestrian in Northampton. However, I think we should still use common sense despite the vigorous enforcement of the crosswalk law. If you can't see the road then that means we/they can't see you! So, just walking into the crosswalk could be hazardous to your health if you don't actually look at the traffic to see if a vehicle is too close. If you assume then you could be making "an ass out of 'u' and 'me'" :) Or, if you go with your entitlement and/or assumptions rather than your actual skill or common sense, I think you may have trouble in the long run...and the short run...and in the crosswalk.

I propose the creation of a video game called "Common Sense", (there may even be one already one in existence), where we can all hone and practice our common sense skills. In the game, the player will be faced with obstacles and situations of many types where they will be awarded points by using their common sense to navigate through the challenges, or, if they fail to use common sense, they will be destroyed. For example, A woman approaches a crosswalk. She wants to cross the street but there is oncoming traffic that, because of well placed obstructions, will not have the opportunity to see her and hence, will not be able to stop. Should she A) Wait to see if the traffic notices her and THEN proceed? B) Just walk right out into the street within the crosswalk assuming that the established laws will protect her even if the vehicles do not see her and end up smashing into her? or C) Walk out into the crosswalk a little bit, just past the obstruction, to at least let the oncoming traffic see her BEFORE proceeding?

The answer is tricky: It's "B" AND "C" readers! There will also be hundreds of other situations in the game where only common sense will save the player...should be exciting! Let me know who wants to help with the development of this game so we can get wealthy together! Or, go broke because no one gives a shit about common sense these days.

~ZFJ

5 comments:

bobbyroastbeef said...

it's Roberto's.

I'm game to develop this game. I love the idea.

jf said...

ZFJ- is this part two of the Connecticut drivers blog, because it has the same overtones?
I will have to agree on the situation of entitlement with pedestrians in Northampton. But the town shoots itself in the foot in the winter when in the DPW piles the snow so high on Main Street that it's hard to even try to turn on to Gothic Street without making a pedestrian into a statistic.
They tried to put a lighted crosswalk in front of The Hungry Ghost Bakery, but I've only seen it lit up once or twice at night...you can't miss it, which was the reason for the lighted arrows.
I'll often see what color the light is on the corner of Main/Pleasant St. before even approaching the crosswalk in front of what is now Newbury Comics. Why? because I've been screwed out of a green light while driving by a 'pedtrustifarian' more than once and i'm a driver as well as a footophile. Ti's a give and take. But a car weighs a LOT more than I so I err on the side of caution.
Count me in on the game. I'll beta test the fucker as long as the game takes place in NYC...where cars rule and people fear them, or else!

Zero Fun John said...

Jer,

You're damn right it has the same overtones!! These people need to learn to operate in a society whether at the wheel or on foot! Maybe our forthcoming video game will initiate change?

~ZFJ

Bernard said...

Am I getting this? Are people supposed to look at words to play this game? Don't bet on a big sales!

Zero Fun John said...

Bernard,

People will have many options in this game. They're all based on common sense though so it will be more challenging than your standard war game or advanced trivia game.

Should be fun seeing who lives and gets points...and fun seeing who gets destroyed.

~ZFJ