Introducing: "Suck it dry Sunday"

Last night it occurred to me, and I still almost don't believe it. See, I was settled in and unwinding with some Ghost Adventures --not an episode from the new season which are full of "hammed-up" acting and flimsy claims of demonic possessions by the shows three Ghost Hunters-- but an episode from a previous season where they actually still managed to catch ghosts talking and floating around on video. Anyway, then it happened. A retail operation ran a commercial for their wares...It started out routinely enough with mentions of Black Friday deals and what they're selling, and why I should buy it. The commercial ended with a plug for deals that run from Black Friday to "Cyber Monday"

Cyber Monday??? What the fuck is this shit?

Maybe you are aware of this? Maybe you already know what the "brand" for Cyber Monday is supposed to be? I assume it's THE day where you and I can get super-deals online??? Not like we can do that EVERY day or anything. It occurred to me that the retail operations and the media are actually attempting to brand a full "shopping" weekend in this country, rather than just the Friday after Thanksgiving, and are actually naming (branding) certain days so us sheep -err, "Consumers", can rush out and buy when we are told. Don't believe me? Well then how do you explain "Small Business Saturday"? That's right reader! A short time after I learned about Cyber Monday I got hit with a commercial for Small Business Saturday, which featured all sorts of actors posing as consumers, proclaiming that they're going to buy at least one thing from a local "small" business in their area --on Saturday! What. The . Fuck. Is. This. Shit???? I have not yet heard what the branding name for Sunday of this shopping weekend is called but I'm sure it's out there, or in development in some retail operations lavish conference room as we speak. Wow....it's all so lame....my teeth are turning and turning.

Two other things that got me down about the current state of our country and Hollywood entered my consciousness a short time after the aforementioned revelations. One of them is a product called "Forever Lazy". People, these are fleece "Footy" pajamas for adults. One piece, with flaps in the front and back so when we have to take shit or piss while wearing this outfit, we don't even have to remove it. Nice! They are currently available in three awesome colors: "Workday Blues" --a nice play on words reminding us of how much it sucks to have to go to work, especially if you're wearing this shit, "Hanky Pinky Fuscia" --no comment, and of course "Asleep On The Job Gray" --that's really it's name. Like we really need to be more lazy in this country??? C'mon!!! Then, while still in the throes of annoyance from learning about this fucking shit, I get hit with a commercial for the upcoming holiday movie, "New Years Eve". It seems to be about a group of young attractive friends and lovers who, want to party in Times Square. On New Years Eve. That's it? I mean, how bout' a movie where the Earth gets attacked by aliens on New Years Eve?? Or a movie where someone successfully thwarts a terrorist attack on New Years Eve?? It's been done but at least it has some kind of a believable story set on New Years Eve, rather than just being about New Years Eve. But not in our current times, nope, we get holiday movies about peoples aspirations to go party on New Years Eve. Wow Hollywood......wow America.

Anyway, I realize that I have watched too much TV already in this holiday season and today I hope to find a nice sand pile, or maybe a pile of debris in the street in which to bury my head for a quick reprieve from the bombardment. While writing this I have come up with a name for the Sunday portion of America's new shopping weekend:

"Suck it dry Sunday"

Like it?

You heard it here first reader....hopefully it will catch on!


See ya!



~ZFJ