Thursday, December 22, 2011

You mess with the bull, you get the horn

Happy Holidays to you my uber-intelligent readers!!

Northampton really comes alive during the holiday season. It's really a beautiful city where people like to come to buy things, eat, be entertained, and even live. Not that we who live here can easily retain our sanity while navigating through severely congested streets during the holidays or anything. The streets tend to be chock full of pedestrians in a shopping frenzy and vehicles driven by soon-to-be-pedestrians, looking to park somewhere in order to get themselves into a shopping frenzy.

That said, it is a wonderful time of year in a wonderful city!

But why do people have to lean on their horns when they can't move in bumper-to-bumper traffic??

I was attempting to turn left on to a side street of Main St. (bad move) and, of course, could not budge due to congested/frenzied traffic. I tried to make the left a couple times but would have lost the front of my car if I followed through with the turn. A person behind me in a big tough truck simply did not need my ineptitude. He (I looked) leaned on that fucking horn as if his life depended on it. As if that would make the traffic preventing me from turning left "get motivated" and move??? As if it would allow him to proceed to his destination faster by the strength of that horn noise??? Well, it got me to thinking about the psychology of leaning on your horn rudely when you can't move in traffic.

Why do it? Why not just wait your turn?

You're only voicing your lack of patience, self control and discipline while displaying your frustration to the immediate world. Your horn cannot magically make cars disappear or force other drivers to maneuver their vehicles through physical obstacles such as cars, trucks and humans. Your horn does not "send a wake up call" to all of us supposedly slow-witted drivers who are impeding your journey. No my dear horn-leaners of the world, all it serves to do is to make you look like a childish, red-faced, selfish, rude, and frustrated, idiot.

So, how about just being patient? If you're a chronic horn-leaner, how about just not doing it during the holidays? Just a thought...

Ok...that's it for now. Remember to breathe, relax and enjoy the holidays. You'll get your shopping done in due time. And remember, we all have a right to the roadways of the world.

And stop leaning on your fucking horns!!!

:)


~ZFJ

3 comments:

Anne said...

I believe that the horn should be used in only a couple of situations.
1. When the light has been green for awhile and the person in front of you is obviously sleeping.
2. When someone nearly runs you off the road because they are not looking where they are going.

Zero Fun John said...

Anne,

1. A gun should be used.

2. A disintegration laser-beam should be used.

~ZFJ

MikeMcGarry12 said...

OR...you could just grow a satchel and make the damn left! Guess what ZFJ, that person that was going to make it so that you "lost the front" of your car doesn't want to go to the shop and get his car (which is probably a helluva lot nicer than your Saturn or my Neon) fixed either. So he'd have stopped, jammed his brakes, maybe even leaned on his horn as if his life depended on it and gave you a nice stare down, but in the end he would have stopped and you would have been on your merry and cheerful holiday way. I can't tell you how much i LOATHE pussy drivers.