At Dunkin Donuts Customers can...F*CK OFF!

Daaaaaamn...

Quick one here folks, because my mind was just blown. Now, we've all had hit or miss service at the various Dunkin Donuts we all frequent from time to time. Right? Of course! I mean, there's no way we should expect that people can be happy who are sitting in a little booth (drive through), or taking orders at the counter in front of an impatient line of sleep-deprived people in horrid need of caffeine. That can't make a person happy...but that IS what they signed up for.

Just sayin'...

So just about an hour ago, after picking up my sidekick from school, I decided to swing by the drive through at a Dunkin Donuts on King St. It's quickly apparent to me that they're in a busy stretch as I fall into the line of cars, full of people wanting stuff from Dunkin Donuts. I finally get to the giant order "menu" and I am greeted with a very un-enthused young womans voice mumbling what I thought was "ulcone-a-bwintow-indon...utzayee ta untwah"? (Translates to "Welcome to Dunkin Donuts, may I take your order?" I say "I'm sorry, I can't hear you."

Bad fucking move.

She lashes out with a non-mumbled greeting of "What would you like??" (with extra snap to it). I give her the information for what I would like: "I'd like a large Ice Coffee please. Cream and Sugar, but can you just add a bit of cream? I don't like it when it's too light." She replies with "Uh huh". I thank her and she says, in the most "fuck-my-life" sort of way, "Drive up"....barely even pronouncing the words as she utters them. I pull up to the window and she presents me with my large Ice Coffee.

Of course, it is almost white from the amount of cream she's put in it.

I politely ask Wanda (that's her name) if she can prepare me another Ice coffee because I don't like it like that. Folks, she literally gave me a look of "are-you-fucking-seriously-asking-me-to-go-and-prepare-you-another-coffee-with-the-day-I'm-having-you-jerk-off??" ....She actually then says to me "Seriously??" My mind was rather blown at this point because, I am just a person who wants to pay Dunkin Donuts to make me a coffee the way I would prefer it. No personal attack. No ill-will. No animosity towards her. I just wanted an Ice coffee with not a ton of cream in it, dammit. Anyway, while she's giving me attitude (and not going to prepare me a new coffee by the way) I have to say to her, "No, Seriously. That's why I asked you at the drive up for a very small amount of cream. Because I don't like it too light..."

Well, that part got through to her because she huffed and puffed her way through the 15 second ordeal of making me a new coffee (with some extra saliva in it now, I'm sure). She returns to the window with a demonstrative "How's this?? Light enough for you??" (readers, this all really happened...I know it seems far-fetched, but it did actually happen). I say "Yeah, that looks good...thanks!" But Wanda wasn't quite finished showing me how she treats asshole customers like myself. She sarcastically asks if I'd like to sample the Ice Coffee before I leave, to make sure it tastes good too. I said "No thanks, I'm sure it's fine...", as I try to escape her evil presence.

But Wanda hadn't yet completed my "lesson" of "how to not be a fucking selfish, pushy customer". Wanda wryly says, "No really, please taste it to make sure it's ok" I chuckle a bit now, the kind of chuckle I give to someone who is fucking with me. A chuckle of, "shit. You better be fucking happy that I'm in a good mood Wanda. Or else I'd blow up the building with you in it. Or at least be a tattle-tale and let your manager know how you do things around here...". Meanwhile, a dude approaches the window and gives me the wrong change ($.73 short, I had given Wanda a $20 before she went to "fix" me up with a new coffee. The bill was $2.37), this happened quickly --and added to my confusion--, as I was being forced to try the new and improved Ice coffee (which I'm sure Wanda added a lil' something to).....I taste the coffee and it is indeed right-on-the-money, taste-wise. I let her know this and I get the most insincere, sarcastic "fuck you" of an exit greeting: "Have a nice daay".

Shit. I wasn't even pissed. And I think I learned something today? You will get your fucking coffee how THEY want you to have it. And if you ask for it to be YOUR way, they will give you holy hell for that, at Dunkin Donuts....From time to time....


~ZFJ