The Common Sense Cowboys

Sooo, Work is not in the cards today for good ole' ZFJ. Got some shit to take care of...

I had to make a stop at Radio Shack to purchase a new HDMI cable in hopes that it can fix my ailing TV's issues. A quick sidenote, Radio Shack employees go for the throat, sales-wise that is. The guy working there asks a few basic questions about the way my TV has been acting and I answer him. He goes into the "...that doesn't sound like a HDMI cable thing. That sounds like a TV issue..." spiel. Conveniently enough they just happen to sell TV's at Radio Shack. You think he would have liked for me to just say "Fuck it. How much for that 40" Flat Screen over there rather than this $15 cable?" Anyway. The new cable fixed the problem...

Driving by Autozone on the way out I view an Autozone employee standing outside having a cigarette. He looks like his life depended on that cigarette break. He had an smirky, over-confident and almost cocky look to his grizzled face. I've often wondered why these Autozone employees seem to all have this "look" when they're out on cigarette break? Behind the counter they look like they're just tired of your shit and they just can't believe you don't know what ball joint is. They work hard dealing with the stupid general public all day long but when they get on those cigarette breaks, it's time to spread their wings! If you look closely, it's like they're looking down on the rest of the world when they're donning the Autozone colors.

Are these people superior to other people? Should I know all this shit about car parts? This used to perplex me to the point that I would avoid the store until I studied and built up enough knowledge of any part I may have needed in order to not feel like a stupid piece of shit walking out of there.

But the answer hit me today and I figured it out. They just have WAY more common sense than we do in the first place and while on their cigarette break, it is their time to vent and snicker about how fucking stupid we all are. Think about it, they spend hours dealing with driveling, confused dullards who ask too many questions about how to install the alternator they just bought, or which air freshener is best for their car. One after the other the hapless customers ask a million stupid questions, effectively whittling down the customer service temperment of these car-repair/part seller gurus. Through the course of the day they realize just how much more common sense they have than we do. A whole shit ton more! As a result we see them standing out on front of the store like some kind of celebrity, comparing "stupid customer" stories with each other and generally reinforcing their unusually high common sense levels.

Eventually you would be the same if you worked there. Shit, after answering two thousand questions about spark plugs and air filters that in your opinion any person should know, you'd have the same reaction when on your cigarette breaks. You'll develop such acute common sense skills when prescribing the correct type of wax to use on your car that it will naturally give you a feeling of superiority which you then can radiate to your colleauges while on your cigarette breaks. Oh and, don't you worry if you don't smoke cigarettes, you will within one month of working that job.


~ZFJ