A few thoughts about Ammo

Here's some background on Ammo. Ammo is my dog. She is a tiny "Min-Pin" (miniature Pinscher for those who don't know the slang) who I inherited from my son's mother. Ammo is half the size of a standard Min-Pin which adds to her cute-ness. Ammo had a brother named Gunner who unfortunately got hit by a car -rest his soul.(Gunner was the first dog resident in the house until the much smaller Ammo moved in. See? Gunner and Ammo -get it??) Ammo is extremely cute and novel. Because of her dimunitive size people basically drool over her or are just really amused. I've never pictured myself as the owner of a tiny dog such as her but rather, I pictured myself as owning a German Shepard and running through fields and streets playing, terrorizing people and it protecting me when people try to mug me. The best laid plans...

So, instead, I find myself with Ammo and we have been locked in a battle of wills for some time now. And I'm not winning this battle. Ammo doesn't seem to have much sense of loyalty and kind of goes with the hot hand -meaning, whoever is available/in the mood to coddle her, give treats or focus all their attention strictly on her. Strike one.

Ammo is very smart as dogs go. Selectively smart though. For example, the main battle we have is based on couch sitting protocol. She is welcome to sit on the couch when I, Matt (my roommate) or guests are in the room but I'd rather her not hang out there in most other cases. She has a slick bed/food area but seems to have no use for it. She IS a dog and of course DOES prefer "human" food, sitting locations and other things "Human" related over things deisgnated for a dog -I get it. Here's the issue: she knows that she isn't supposed to sleep on the couches at certain times -as evidenced by how many times I come down the stairs only to hear/see Ammo high-tailing it from the living room into the kitchen where she is supposed to be sleeping. On one occassion, Matt walked down the stairs first followed by me and Ammo didn't even budge! She only thought Matt, who is not even close to being as militant as myself about the "couch sitting", was coming down the stairs and therefore posed no threat to her extreme relaxation. She didn't even bat an eye. Until she saw that I was there. She jumped off the couch in a flurry of confusion and speed and headed into the kitchen to continue her rigorous sleeping regimen from that point. The issue is that she knows she isn't supposed to be making the couches her usual hangout but she is just determined to keep on with what she's doing. The straw that broke the camel's back was one day when I saw that she had actually moved doggie toys and her blankets from her dog bed onto the couch where she was chillin'!!! WTF??? Strike Two.

She broke protocol once again the other day prompting me to raise my voice towards her saying" "RE-cruit!!" She perked up and stood up quickly -which gave me considerable joy and humor- and then I issued the following command of: "GO-GO-GO-GO..." which sent her scurrying into the kitchen like a military recruit in boot camp! Well, now quite a few people have witnessed the boot camp that Ammo has unintentionally gotten herself into and many of them have joined in the training process when she is on the couches in non-designated times saying: "REEEE-Cruit!! Go-go go-go-go-go go-go...!!!"

One way or the other, this little dog will learn to become a "real" dog with some level of loyalty and obedience through this training. If you stop by the house, I would appreciate the use of "Recruit" as her interim name until further notice. Any advice on how I can add to my training program is appreciated.

Over.

~ZFJ