Hello readers.
Hunter S. Thompson was once quoted as saying, "I have a theory that the truth is never told between 9-5 business hours."
I think what he's getting at here is the generally un-natural premise of getting up in the morning, dressing in a certain pre-determined manner, engaging in an often-times violent and competitive commute and eventually arriving at your detination of: Work. When at work, let the rat race begin.
Work:
"Noun
1. exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something; labor; toil.
2. something on which exertion or labor is expended; a task or undertaking: The students finished their work in class.
3. productive or operative activity"
Work:
"Verb (used without object)
16. to do work; labor.
17. to be employed, especially as a means of earning one's livelihood: He hasn't worked for six weeks.
18. to be in operation, as a machine."
So, we work. We plug right in and we work. We want to make money to pay for things we enjoy/need and hopefully we have money left over to actually enjoy our lives and make OUR decisions. It's a fact of life for the majority of Americans that we will work for someone who is calling the shots and we will be subject to their decisions and parameters for how we will conduct ourselves during the 9-5 hours. When they "own" our time, we will do what it takes to succeed and even "get ahead" in this environment to hopefully ensure more money and maybe even decision making powers down the line.
However, my point is not that people work. It is about some of the tactics employed by CEO's and other decision makers use to help ensure productive and attentive employees. I'm not talking about job perks such as a healthy work/life balance, bonus time off or money for jobs well done or flexible arrival schedules. No dear readers, I am referring to tactics employed at the most basic level. Tactics that not only save the company money but also remind us who the fuck is making decisions around here!
I'm talking about "The Devil's Claw".
What is Devil's Claw you ask? Well, you've heard of Angel Soft toilet paper perhaps? Angel Soft is a "bath tissue" we get to enjoy when we are making the decisions! When we are in control and looking out for our own best interests! We choose Angel Soft, among other beneficial decisions, because it is wonderfully soft and, DOESN'T BREAK INTO LITTLE FUCKING PIECES THAT GET LODGED IN OUR FUCKING ASS CRACKS!!! Here's an example of where CEO's apply the expression "The devil is in the details". See folks, there is a "brand" of general/bulk products designated for use by employees while at work. This brand is "cost effective". This brand is "good enough" for us commoners who are not in the drivers seat between 9-5. While this brand encompasses many types of products it seems to feature a particular type of "bath tissue" for the general worker.
This "bath tissue" is the CEO's best friend. It usually has two-ply paper which contributes to it's ease in breaking apart, it is flimsy at best, and may even have hints of wonderful wood grains in it. Inevitably, during a work day, a worker will have to take a break or three, in order to relieve themself via the toilet. CEO's have been briefed by their middle and upper management teams that this type of activity detracts from one's productivity. As a result, CEO's and other 9-5 decision makers have made provisions that will guarantee "attentive" employees upon returning from these little breaks.
So, you take a break and you return. You're relieved in one sense and tormented in another. You can't sit still, are agitated and have no choice but to "get mad"! You are attentive by force and productive by choice from that point. While this kind of tactic really "chaps my ass", I realize that the writing is already on the wall for me and my bathroom breaks and that writing ominously reads:
"The Devils Claw"
And on that note...
~ZFJ
Showing posts with label Hunter S. Thompson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hunter S. Thompson. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The Working Mans Quote Trip
Sooooooooo...hello there you vibrant blog-reading types! Here I am at the daily grind, the bill payin' machine, the ole "9-5" on good Ole' St.Patricks day 2011! Bars will be filled with celebratory, sloppy, happy, self-righteous drunken people who'll be singing, reveling, drooling, passing out, involved in some grandiose scheming and proclaiming everlasting love for their "brothers" while also partaking in other generally loud and/or fun times while, "being Irish". Since I can't be involved in this type of activity at the moment -especially the grandoise scheming type thing- I decided to enlighten you with some quotes that I dig.
Why you ask?
Because I can.
Begin:
"No matter how hot she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her shit." -ZFJ
"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."
-H.S. Thompson
"You used to be able to tell the difference between hipsters and homeless people. Now, it's between hipsters and retards. I mean, either that guy in the corner in orange safety pants holding a protest sign and wearing a top hat is mentally disabled or he is the coolest fucking guy you will ever know." -C.Klosterman
"Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children." -B.Hicks
"We walk away like strangers on the street, gone for eternity." -K.West
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." -G.Carlin
"Have I not destroyed my enemies if I have made friends of them?"
-A.Lincoln
"If I was scared...I would. And if I was bored...you know I would. And if I was yours...but I'm not." -A.Fire
"The room is on fire as she's fixing her hair." -T.Strokes
"If you define your personality as creative, it only means you understand what is perceived to be creative by the world at large, so you're really just following a rote creative template. That's the opposite of creativity. Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time."
-C.Klosterman
"The sluggard burieth his hand in the dish; It wearieth him to bring it again to his mouth." -B.Proverb
"Noted AND appreciated." -ZFJ
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours." -H.S. Thompson
"Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player." - A.Einstein
"For me, life is writing and I can do it anywhere. It doesn't matter where I am. I listen. I write. I live." -M.J. Keenan
"My optimism wears heavy boots and is loud." -H.Rollins
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." -G.Carlin
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
-A.Einstein
"Though you pound a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, Yet his folly will not depart from him." -B.Proverb
"Your Mother." -Everyone (especially ZFJ)
"Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity." -F.Nietzche
“Question: Do you know how old I’ll be by the time I learn how to play the piano? Answer: The same age you will be if you don’t.”
-J.Cameron
"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." -F.Nietzche
"Nobody really cares what YOU need." -ZFJ
"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."
-Somerset Maugham
"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label." -M.Twain
"You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made." -G.Burns
"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room." -W.Churchill
"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul." -M.Monroe
"As our enemies have found we can reason like men, so now let us show them we can fight like men also." -T.Jefferson
"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." -W.Wallace
"Nothing brings people together more, then mutual hatred." -H.Rollins
"I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." -M.Monroe
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" -G.Carlin
Fin.
There. That could possibly be the best blog ever written. But, can I really call it possibly the "best"? Yes, I just did that. I hope these quotes save your life, make you "happy", give you that reason to live you've been searching for or cause you to take approximately 7:43:17 out of your day to read them. There are so many more but you already hate me for writing this post so I shall hold back.
Cheers
~ZFJ
Why you ask?
Because I can.
Begin:
"No matter how hot she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her shit." -ZFJ
"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."
-H.S. Thompson
"You used to be able to tell the difference between hipsters and homeless people. Now, it's between hipsters and retards. I mean, either that guy in the corner in orange safety pants holding a protest sign and wearing a top hat is mentally disabled or he is the coolest fucking guy you will ever know." -C.Klosterman
"Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children." -B.Hicks
"We walk away like strangers on the street, gone for eternity." -K.West
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." -G.Carlin
"Have I not destroyed my enemies if I have made friends of them?"
-A.Lincoln
"If I was scared...I would. And if I was bored...you know I would. And if I was yours...but I'm not." -A.Fire
"The room is on fire as she's fixing her hair." -T.Strokes
"If you define your personality as creative, it only means you understand what is perceived to be creative by the world at large, so you're really just following a rote creative template. That's the opposite of creativity. Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time."
-C.Klosterman
"The sluggard burieth his hand in the dish; It wearieth him to bring it again to his mouth." -B.Proverb
"Noted AND appreciated." -ZFJ
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours." -H.S. Thompson
"Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player." - A.Einstein
"For me, life is writing and I can do it anywhere. It doesn't matter where I am. I listen. I write. I live." -M.J. Keenan
"My optimism wears heavy boots and is loud." -H.Rollins
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." -G.Carlin
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
-A.Einstein
"Though you pound a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, Yet his folly will not depart from him." -B.Proverb
"Your Mother." -Everyone (especially ZFJ)
"Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity." -F.Nietzche
“Question: Do you know how old I’ll be by the time I learn how to play the piano? Answer: The same age you will be if you don’t.”
-J.Cameron
"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." -F.Nietzche
"Nobody really cares what YOU need." -ZFJ
"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."
-Somerset Maugham
"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label." -M.Twain
"You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made." -G.Burns
"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room." -W.Churchill
"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul." -M.Monroe
"As our enemies have found we can reason like men, so now let us show them we can fight like men also." -T.Jefferson
"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." -W.Wallace
"Nothing brings people together more, then mutual hatred." -H.Rollins
"I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." -M.Monroe
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" -G.Carlin
Fin.
There. That could possibly be the best blog ever written. But, can I really call it possibly the "best"? Yes, I just did that. I hope these quotes save your life, make you "happy", give you that reason to live you've been searching for or cause you to take approximately 7:43:17 out of your day to read them. There are so many more but you already hate me for writing this post so I shall hold back.
Cheers
~ZFJ
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