The Working Mans Quote Trip

Sooooooooo...hello there you vibrant blog-reading types! Here I am at the daily grind, the bill payin' machine, the ole "9-5" on good Ole' St.Patricks day 2011! Bars will be filled with celebratory, sloppy, happy, self-righteous drunken people who'll be singing, reveling, drooling, passing out, involved in some grandiose scheming and proclaiming everlasting love for their "brothers" while also partaking in other generally loud and/or fun times while, "being Irish". Since I can't be involved in this type of activity at the moment -especially the grandoise scheming type thing- I decided to enlighten you with some quotes that I dig.

Why you ask?

Because I can.

Begin:

"No matter how hot she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her shit." -ZFJ

"In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."
-H.S. Thompson

"You used to be able to tell the difference between hipsters and homeless people. Now, it's between hipsters and retards. I mean, either that guy in the corner in orange safety pants holding a protest sign and wearing a top hat is mentally disabled or he is the coolest fucking guy you will ever know." -C.Klosterman

"Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children." -B.Hicks

"We walk away like strangers on the street, gone for eternity." -K.West

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." -G.Carlin

"Have I not destroyed my enemies if I have made friends of them?"
-A.Lincoln

"If I was scared...I would. And if I was bored...you know I would. And if I was yours...but I'm not." -A.Fire

"The room is on fire as she's fixing her hair." -T.Strokes

"If you define your personality as creative, it only means you understand what is perceived to be creative by the world at large, so you're really just following a rote creative template. That's the opposite of creativity. Everybody is wrong about everything, just about all the time."
-C.Klosterman

"The sluggard burieth his hand in the dish; It wearieth him to bring it again to his mouth." -B.Proverb

"Noted AND appreciated." -ZFJ

"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours." -H.S. Thompson

"Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player." - A.Einstein

"For me, life is writing and I can do it anywhere. It doesn't matter where I am. I listen. I write. I live." -M.J. Keenan

"My optimism wears heavy boots and is loud." -H.Rollins

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." -G.Carlin

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
-A.Einstein

"Though you pound a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, Yet his folly will not depart from him." -B.Proverb

"Your Mother." -Everyone (especially ZFJ)

"Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity." -F.Nietzche

“Question: Do you know how old I’ll be by the time I learn how to play the piano? Answer: The same age you will be if you don’t.”
-J.Cameron

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." -F.Nietzche

"Nobody really cares what YOU need." -ZFJ

"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."
-Somerset Maugham

"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label." -M.Twain

"You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made." -G.Burns

"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room." -W.Churchill

"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul." -M.Monroe

"As our enemies have found we can reason like men, so now let us show them we can fight like men also." -T.Jefferson

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." -W.Wallace

"Nothing brings people together more, then mutual hatred." -H.Rollins

"I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time." -M.Monroe

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" -G.Carlin

Fin.

There. That could possibly be the best blog ever written. But, can I really call it possibly the "best"? Yes, I just did that. I hope these quotes save your life, make you "happy", give you that reason to live you've been searching for or cause you to take approximately 7:43:17 out of your day to read them. There are so many more but you already hate me for writing this post so I shall hold back.

Cheers

~ZFJ