Sunday, April 8, 2012

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta

Hi!! Happy Easter!

So, I've been watching this YouTube video of what appears to be a gangsta rapper who's rapping to the world about his prowess on "the streets", and in being a gangsta. He tries to smoke a blunt but ends up passing out because he apparently can't handle the level of marijuana smoke from that particular jazz-cigar. Well, the Easter holiday and this video compelled me to reflect on vital principles of being a "Gangsta", and how good it must feel to actually be a gangsta. I will share the principles that I believe are essential, and non-negotiable, for those that aspire to be a true gangsta. I will then contrast them with the errors that this rapper has displayed on his personal quest to become a gangsta. But first, go ahead and get rocked by this video:

Here's the lyrics, for study purposes:

“…*(un-decipherable lyrics)*… be chillin’. If I’m not chillin’ I prolly got my grillin’. If I ain’t got my grill yeah, I’m prolly clockin' on the block tryin’ to cop me a million. Other than that I got my brothas in black who be ready to mask up lest da nigga act up…...I ain’t gotta squeeze the trigger but please believe I bleed a nigga.... Have em’ leakin’ and shit…... and I ain’t talkin’ Spanish I’m just speakin’ and shit, ya heard?? That’s my word better stand on it, I’m a man before anything, put a grand on it. Make it two G’s…...on da real, bitch niggas try to do me….*(pause for extended puffs from a marijuana cigar)*…...get smoked like dat blunt *(followed immediately by an elongated cough)*…..more hacking….eyes roll back in the head….the aspiring gangsta rapper falls off the chair, marking the end of that rap. And possibly the end of his quest to become a gangsta.

Gangsta rule #1: You must be able to smoke marijuana till the cows come home. Meaning, any/all blunts that come your way, you smoke them effortlessly. You can, and will, out-smoke any "bitch-nigga".

But our subject didn't do this part too well. He raps about "bitch niggas try to do me? I'll smoke you like dat blunt." But dat blunt smoked him!! Are we to believe that any bitch nigga will also smoke him???

Gangsta rule #2: You must have the ability to generate large amounts of "income", preferably from non-legal efforts on "the street" or "the block".

I find it hard to believe that our subject, rapping in what appears to be a bedroom inside his grandmother's house, is actually out on the block tryin' to cop him a million. Considering he can't even hold down the marijuana smoke from that blunt, any "bitch-nigga" should easily be able to stop his efforts to cop a million by just waving a blunt in his face. Not buying it....just not buying it.

Gangsta Rule #3: You must have a crew of "brothas-in-black" who be ready to "mask up" lest a nigga act up (meaning, people who are loyal to you who will execute covert operations designed to inflict physical harm to people who "act up" against you).

Well. I doubt that these people even exist in this man's life. I can't see them displaying loyalty to a "gangsta" that doesn't even have his own apartment -let alone a "million". I can't believe that these "brothas in black" would put their civic liberties at risk for a man who lives at Grandma's house and can't even smoke through a full marijuana cigar before passing out.

So, dear readers, I imagine that many of you aspire to be true gangstas. Being a gangsta feels good and has many rewards, albeit risky rewards. You'll need to be prepared and really commit to make it happen. Our friend in the video was not prepared, unfortunately for him. And he paid a steep price for it.....But you won't have to thanks to this handy guide. I hope this post will help you to understand some important fundamentals involved in this lifestyle and the preparation involved in making it a reality.

Ok then, happy Easter! Off to cop a million...